I recently attended a worship event that was a little more charismatic than I am used to but it really was a great event.
The event really opened my eyes a little more to different worship styles and helped me see just how limited my view of worship is. Of course I have been to charismatic churches and worship events before but this was just a small "community" worship event and there were people from all denominations there so it was not limited to or focused on any charismatic sect.
As a musician I have a bad habit of focusing on the performance aspects of worship: the music, beat, the musicians, etc and sometimes this makes me less focused on actually worshipping.
Another nasty aspect of me is that I am thinker/reflector type. So I enjoy dreaming up ways to do the same song a different way or arrange the stage a certain way...again side tracking me from true worship. I like to selfishly think about me.I am not one who lives in the moment. I like to think and plan things out.
At this event we had gone through almost an hour of straight worship nonstop...and my barriers were finally breaking down. It was just me worshiping God and not focusing on anything else. The worship leader was really feeling the the Lord's presence and the mode of worship. He was playing more reflective and slower songs than before. He stopped one song and just laid on the floor in worship. He cried out "soak Him in....in this moment, worship Him."
I had not really thought about this idea of just soaking in the Lord's presence, just sitting there with God. I have done this before but I never really thought about it in a worship night setting before. It was delightful. My mind began to wonder as I worshipped God and I started praying. Then the leader said, "Just be with God in adoration and soak Him in. Do not worry about asking for requests, just worship God in this moment. Soak Him in."
I stopped praying for the prayer request and went back to to trying to "soak Him in." This was still new for me. I began to jot things down (these thoughts that I am not blogging) and remembered again that this is exactly the problem I (was writ ting about/now blogging about) - I am being all type A thinking and reflecting as all I am suppose to be doing is soaking in God.
Once I finally stopped and just focused on Him, it was a blissful, peaceful thing. I was just with God. Hanging out with Him. God loves simply to spend time with me. He just wanted me to love him and to be filled with Him. He wanted me to be still and listen.
It was simple yet hard to explain. It was surrender. I gave up my plans. I waited on the Lord. I remembered how good He is and How He has blessed me. I was living in the moment in worship.